


irkens and ice cream

by wilfre



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Fluff, Gen, Ice Cream, Platonic Cuddling, Scary Movies, ZADF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-09-26 16:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilfre/pseuds/wilfre
Summary: in which, instead of planning to expose zim at the keynote, dib's empathy gets the best of him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> also in which kale writes something other than tf2. wow!
> 
> sorry if they are out of character... i have loved iz for years but i have never written them. xoxo

“The Tallest aren’t coming!” Zim had wailed before dissolving into a blubbering mess on his floor.

It had been amazing at first. 

Zim had really given up. Dib had actually, finally won. Earth was safe.

Euphoria spread throughout his body, right down to his fingertips; after all this time, Dib’s mission was finally over—and so was Zim’s. It was the greatest relief known to man.

But the feeling didn’t last long.

As Zim continued screaming, aimlessly rolling around on the floor, an uncomfortable weight grew in Dib’s chest. Alright, seeing Zim miserable was kinda fun at first, but now it was just.. a bit painful.

“I’ve lost the respect of my Tallest!” the alien bawled, hiccuping and howling between rapid breaths.

“Uhh…” Dib awkwardly glanced around the room, trying to avoid looking at the situation before him. GIR was still eating nachos and watching TV, seemingly oblivious to his master’s plight. Dib sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers and scrunching his eyes up.

“Come on, man,” he mumbled, a bit unenthusiastically, staring at the other side of the room.

_ “There may come a time when we at Membrane Labs…” _

Dib’s eyes quickly flickered to the screen, an untuned _ twang _ trilling from his heartstrings upon seeing the sickly blue-tinted image of his dad on TV. His gaze dropped down to his Membracelet as his dad’s voice droned on, way more toned down and relaxing than his real presence. The voice faded to a hum in the back of his mind.

“You know, my dad doesn’t respect what I do, either,” he offered, trying to be of some comfort. Zim’s shrieks had reduced to whimpers and soft groaning. “He thinks I’m crazy like the rest of the world.” He paused to yank the Membracelet off, chucking it into the jumbled heap of Zim’s experiments. "The world I just saved without anybody knowing.." He turned to the couch, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV before GIR could protest.

“Hey!” he squealed, “I was watching that!”

Dib cautiously approached Zim. Though he was very vulnerable and apathetic at the moment, he was still a highly dangerous individual—Dib couldn’t let his guard down, not for a second.

“Come on,” he repeated, nudging his miserable enemy. “Get up.”

Zim only groaned in response, large fuschia eyes unblinking, staring at nothing in particular.

“Zim, seriously, this is sad.” Dib nudged him again, firmer this time. “Get up.”

“Why?” he gurgled, rolling away from the kid’s touch. 

Dib didn’t exactly have a solid plan formed; he just knew he had to get Zim off the floor. He’d figure it out from there.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, kneeling down to Zim’s level, “but you can’t stay on this floor forever.”

Zim snarled, turning away. “Yes I can.” If he had the energy, he’d surely follow that up with _ You underestimate Zim, you foolish Earth-smelly! Zim could stay on this floor UNTIL THE END OF TIME! _

But he didn’t. He only groaned, beginning to roll across the floor again. Dib got to his feet, jogging over to stop him. He threw himself onto the alien, knocking the wind out of himself but halting the other’s momentum.

“GET OFF ME!” Zim shrieked, flailing wildly, shoving and kicking at any part of Dib’s body he could come in contact with.

“Ow, Zim, stop!” Dib grabbed at Zim’s wrists, pinning the legs down under his own. He struggled to hold on, Zim’s angry thrashing threatening to knock him over. “Quit it!”

“You quit it!”

“Get up!”

“How am I supposed to get up if you’re ON TOP OF ME, YOU STUPID STINK-WORM?!”

“Fine!” Dib let go, bracing himself for the onslaught of Zim’s fists. It didn’t come. “Are you gonna get up?”

“If it means you’ll stop touching me with your ugly meat hands, then fine! Now get off!”

Dib stood up, undoing Zim’s handcuffs before offering an ‘ugly meat hand’ to the alien. He didn’t take it, of course, but reluctantly pushed himself up anyway. He slouched miserably, antennae drooping, still groaning, longing for the cold comfort of the floor.

Now what?

Dib awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “Uhh.. Hey, you _ can _ eat Earth food, right?”

“Yeah, I _ can,_” he slurred, swaying in place. “Why?”

“Have you ever had ice cream?”

“Iced.. cream? No, I’ve never had your stupid ‘iced creams’.” The last two words were spat in a mocking tone.

“Ice cream.” His correction fell on deaf ears (wherever Zim’s were). “Do you wanna.. go get some? It’s sweet. Irkens like sugar, righ—”

“What do _ you _ know about Irkens, Dib-monkey?” Zim growled, shoving past him and pulling his disguise on. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Dib led the way to the ice cream place, glancing behind him every few seconds to make sure Zim was still following (he absolutely REFUSED to hold the human’s hand).

Once they made it there, Zim immediately hopped up into one of the booths, slamming his face into the table. Dib and the worker just watched.

“Err..” He turned to the cashier, pushing his glasses up as he glanced down into the display. “Can I have uhhh….. Hm. Uhh..”

The cashier stared blankly at him.

“Oh! Can I have one scoop of double chocolate-chunk in a waffle cone, and, uhh..”

What would Zim like?

The cashier sighed, beginning to scoop Dib’s order as he struggled to think of Zim’s. He bit at his nails, eyes frantically scanning the options. Vanilla? It’d be a good, simple start for Zim’s first ice cream experience.. too simple! Chocolate? Maybe. Oh, geez, and toppings too! Think, Dib, think..

The cashier cleared their throat.

“Sorry, this is my.. er, friend’s first time having ice cream,” Dib babbled, chewing his lip. “I just don’t know what to get him.”

Monotone, “How about our flavor of the month, Green Apple Gamma.“ Completely devoid of emotion, more of a statement than a question.

Dib gave a wave of his hand. “Nah, how about, uhhh…... One scoop of mint chocolate chip?”

Classic.

“Cup or cone.”

“Cup, please.”

The worker sniffled, wiping their nose on the back of their hand before slinging the ice cream. They placed the cup on the counter, handing Dib his cone.

“Five fifty-eight.”

He slapped a five and one single dollar bill on the counter, dropping his change in the tip jar before picking up Zim’s cup and heading over to their booth.

He sat across from Zim, sliding the cup over. It smacked him on the head. He groaned, pulling his face off the table.

“What _ is _ this?” he grumbled, prodding the green and black mass with his spoon.

“Ice cream,” Dib offered dryly, licking the melting edges of his scoop. “Mint chocolate chip. It’s good.”

Zim squinted at the dessert, scraping at it with his spoon. 

“Zim, you gotta eat it before it melts.”

The alien groaned, reluctantly scooping some up and bringing the utensil to his mouth. It burned upon making contact with his tongue; an odd feeling, not exactly painful (as it was with the polluted Earth water), but just.. strange. He flinched, and it didn’t go unnoticed.

Dib laughed. “Cold?”

“..Yes, I guess that’s what it is.” He pushed the rest into his mouth, shivering as the minty flavor tingled on his tongue and stung his sensitive teeth. Dib watched, fascinated, as Zim’s expression changed from suspicious, to confused, to amazed. Zim’s eyes widened as he chewed the chocolate chips, swallowing the dessert and quickly digging into his cup for more.

Dib chuckled again, wiping chocolate from the corner of his mouth. “You like it?”

“Yes, your disgusting Earth food is up to Zim’s standards for once, I suppose.” He devoured a large bite, then froze, spoon still in his mouth. “Wha—”

He yelled, exhibiting his lack of regard for other people in public places, clutching his head in pain. “What is this?! You.. You have poisoned Zim! You’re melting my braaiinn!” He banged his fist on the table, rattling his cup and earning several annoyed stares from other customers.

Dib couldn’t help but burst into laughter, waiting for his enemy’s fit to end. 

The pain apparently subsiding, Zim looked up at him, eyes squinted, mouth drawn in a tight line.

“What did you do?” he hissed, still clutching his temple.

“I didn’t do anything!” Dib’s cheesy grin was unconvincing. “That was a brain freeze. It happens when you eat something cold too fast.”

“And you did not warn me?!” Zim roared, but gulped down another bite of ice cream anyway. “You filthy, stinky, _ slimy_..” His insults melted on his tongue, along with the dessert. He grumbled to himself as he finished his cup.

“Dib-stink.”

“Hm?” he hummed through a mouthful of waffle cone. Zim held out his empty cup and spoon to him.

“Dispose of this.”

Dib rolled his eyes. “Zim, you’re closer to the garbage th—”

“You will do as Zim says!” he bellowed, leaning across the table and shoving the trash into Dib’s chest.

“Geez, fine!” Dib took it from him, sliding out of the booth and depositing it into the garbage can (which was nearly right next to Zim). He gave an apologetic wave to the worker and other patrons as him and Zim left the store.

The sun was beginning to set as they walked back, a soft pink haze barely peeking over the horizon.

“So.. feeling better?” Dib tried.

“Eh.”

“What do you think you’re gonna do?” He kicked at a rock, sending it skipping down the sidewalk. “Y’know, now that you know the Tallest—”

“Thanks for reminding me,” he spat, crossing his arms. “It’s none of your business anyway, Dib-worm.”

“I mean, it kinda is, if you’re still planning to destroy the Earth. I live here.”

Zim scoffed, not even bothering to dignify him with a reply. They walked together in silence, Dib knocking the same rock around every few steps—until Zim punted it into the street. It crashed through the windshield of a (thankfully parked) car. The alarm blared, cutting through the otherwise peaceful white noise of the evening.

Despite everything, Dib allowed himself to let his guard down. Relax. Just for now.

In the next few days, he would still monitor his enemy, of course; possibly more closely and intricately than usual, since Zim was going to be especially unpredictable after the Tallest-not-coming-to-Earth discovery. But for now, Dib could step off the edge.

At this point, Dib felt.. _ bad _about capturing Zim, locking him up to be showcased to the world like a trophy. It just didn’t have the same rewarding appeal that it did before Zim’s fall into misery. So, like his enemy, Dib didn’t know his next move either.

Maybe…

Zim’s house came into view.

Maybe they could be friends?

The idea was more out of this world than Zim himself, but maybe it was the best option? If, _ if _ Zim wasn’t planning to destroy the planet anymore, what was the point in going at each other’s throats?

They arrived in Zim’s yard.

Dib took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

“Okay, goodbye Dib-stink!” Zim exclaimed, rushing into his house before the other could even get a word out.

Dib sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

Zim snarled, tugging on his antennae in frustration.

“Stupid, stupid stupid,” he growled, rummaging through the piles of his experiments. Parts were strewn about everywhere, and he only added to the mess.

GIR frowned. “You’re not stupid, master!”

“Not ME! Zim would NEVER be stupid!” he hollered, crushing a can between his hands before flinging it across the room. “It is the DIB who is stupid! Stupid, stupid human.. Grah! He thinks his silly ‘iced cream’ offering will stop me from destroying this smelly Earth! Pah! Zim stops FOR NOTHING!”

“But master—”

“Silence!” The clanking of metal parts. “I _ know _ the Tallest aren’t coming.. but that changes nothing! I—”

“Who gonna make ice cream if you destroy all the humans?”

“I—” Zim paused. “Hm.” He scratched his chin, antennae twitching in thought. Finally, he gave a wave of his hand before delving back into his experiment piles. “Nonsense, GIR. I’ll just keep the iced cream makers around.”

“How they gonna survive?”

Another pause. Zim almost said he would take care of them, but he realized the absurdity of that sentence. _ Him? _ Take care of _ humans? _Never!

He dropped the part he was holding, defeated. Maybe before he destroyed the Earth, he could force the humans to make an unlimited supply of ice cream? But Dib-stink said ice cream melts! Where would he keep his ice cream, Antarctica? Antarctica’s space is limited! Pah! He scrunched his eyes shut, rubbing at his temples. Maybe he could make the humans give him the recipes? But he didn’t feel like making it! And since he couldn’t get Clembrane to make pudding the right way, how was he gonna get another robot or clone to make ice cream? Grah!

Maybe..

Maybe the humans weren’t worth destroying?

Sure they were stinky, slimy, disgusting, etcetera.. but they could make ice cream!

Zim was sure Irkens could make ice cream too, but.. 

It’s not like he was welcome back home.

He frowned, slinking over to the window. The sky was a deep, dark abyss of violet, and somewhere in the deepest, darkest reaches of the galaxy, there was Irk.

_ Homesickness: a feeling of longing for one’s home during a period of absence from it. _

He slumped against the windowsill. 

His mission had been a lie. What was the point anymore?

Though his kind had no need for sleep, he would really love to right then.

Dib whistled to himself as he pushed the shopping cart through the aisle; he was so short he had to reach up to grab the handles. As such, he couldn’t exactly see anything in front of him. Gaz acted as his eyes.

She whipped around. “Would you quit that?” Dib cut himself off mid-whistle.

“..What, this?” He whistled even louder, sending the high pitched noise squealing down the freezer section.

“Ugh, you’re not even in tune!”

“You’re just jealous because _ you _ can’t whi—”

_ Bang! _

Their cart clashed against someone else’s. 

“Gaz, you were supposed to be watching!” 

“You distracted me,” she deadpanned. “Besides, nobody was at the cart anyway.”

Dib walked out to inspect the scene. Gaz was right—whoever was using this cart had left it momentarily. Whew. At least no one was hurt.

He pushed his glasses up as he peered into the cart, eyes widening at the sheer amount of ice cream tubs stacked inside. It was nearly filled to the brim.

“Who even has room in their freezer for this much ice cream?” he murmured, wiping the frost off a container of mint chocolate chip.

A familiar green boy rounded the corner, arms full of ice cream.

He nearly dropped them at the sight of the human and his sister.

“Dib-stink?!”

“Zim?”

Gaz groaned before walking away from both of them, wandering into another aisle. She wasn’t gonna put up with this. Not today.

“Get away!” Zim hissed, tossing the tubs into his cart before pulling it back. “You cannot steal Zim’s iced cream!”

“It’s not stealing if you haven’t paid for it yet,” Dib muttered, returning to his cart as well. He looked over his shoulder at the alien. “What’s with the…”

Zim had a puzzled expression as Dib vaguely gestured to his body. He tugged at the large hoodie he was wearing. “This? What, it’s comfortable! While highly fashionable, do you really expect me to wear my uniform every single day? You don’t wear that coat all the time, do you?”

Dib’s face heated up at the last comment.

He did.

In fact.. he was wearing it right now. Embarrassed, he tugged it off and set it on the handle of his cart.

“It’s just weird seeing you wear something else. That’s all.”

Zim turned up his nose (er, that he didn’t have) at that. “Hmph. Not my fault your puny human brain can’t comprehend _ all this_, but you’ll have to get used to it, Dib-worm.” 

Dib only rolled his eyes at that. Sometimes, it just wasn’t worth it to reply verbally. He began rolling his groceries down the aisle, keeping up to Zim’s pace. “So.. I guess you liked it?”

“Hm?”

“The ice cream.” Dib cracked a smile. “I mean, you’re practically buying out the entire stock—”

“Silence! It is none of your business, human-smelly!”

A scoff. “Jeez, Zim, I was just wondering,” he muttered. “You don’t have to get defensive over everything.”

Zim stiffened. “Of course I do.” He tapped his claws against the plastic handlebar of the cart. _ Click clickity click click_. “You could be trying to take advantage of Ziiim!”

“What?” Dib’s expression softened. “You really think that? I mean, maybe if this was any other scenario, and you were still actively trying to take over the Earth—er, assuming you’re not right now—then.. maybe I would be. But c’mon, man. It was just an innocent question. Maybe I just wanna know more about you.”

He could see the muscles in Zim’s shoulders relaxed, but they quickly tensed again. “No you don’t! You don’t want to know more about me; you’re lying!”

“Wh— I’m not lying!”

Zim snarled and growled to himself, tugging and scratching at his wig in frustration. After a bit, he stopped, though still sneering.

“Dib-stink.”

“..Yeah?”

Zim turned to him, squinting, one hand still on the handle of his cart. “_Why _ do you wish to know more about Zim?”

Hands in his pockets, Dib awkwardly shuffled his feet. “I don’t know—”

“You DO know!” he barked back.

“Jeez, calm down! Okay, okay, fine. But the answer.. isn’t exactly something you wanna hear.”

Zim simply stared, eyebrows raised as if to challenge him. Dib took a deep breath.

“Zim..”

He nervously wrung his hands together. To think Dib was never scared when confronting Zim, when facing a powerful individual from another planet, an alien with an arsenal of superior technology and weapons right at his fingertips.. but the idea of proposing friendship made his heart stutter. The cool air of the aisle snaked up his sleeves, goosebumps rising as it prickled against his skin.

“Maybe… Maybe we don’t have to be enemies.”

Zim blinked, expression neutral but a bit confused.

“Of course we do. What are you talking about?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but no, Zim. We don’t. Think about it. Do you even have another plan to destroy Earth right now?”

Zim flipped the switch, eyebrows immediately furrowing, antennae angrily twitching under his wig. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Zim, I’m serious! Can you just answer a simple question?”

The alien frowned, turning and putting his other hand on his cart. “..No.”

Dib huffed, throwing his arms up in defeat. “Whatever. Just forget it.” He began wheeling away.

“..No, I don’t have a plan to destroy the stupid, smelly Earth right now.”

Dib stopped, practically turning on his heels.

“Really?” 

Zim groaned, dragging his hand over his face. “Yes, really, dumb Dib.” Dib nearly flapped his hands in excitement, while the other tapped his foot impatiently.

“What do you suggest we do?” he huffed, obviously wanting to get over with this conversation so he could eat his treats. 

Dib’s eyebrows knitted together. Was it not obvious? “We.. become friends?”

“Oh, no thank you. I already had a human friend once.” He started heading to the checkout line, Dib in tow.

“Zim, you can have more than one friend.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“I— Shut up. Anyway, do you wanna be friends or not?”

The cashier sighed at the sheer amount of ice cream tubs she was about to scan.

Zim started loading them onto the conveyor. “What do friends.. do?”

“Well.. what do Irken friends do?”

“Irkens don’t have friends. There is no time for _ friends! _ We need to focus on our missions!”

Dib frowned. Irkens.. didn’t have friends? That explained quite a bit, actually.

“Friends.. Hm. Friends spend a lot of time together, y’know? Kinda like we already do. But without the fighting and stuff.”

_ Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. _ The cashier frantically scanned and bagged dozens of ice cream tubs. Zim finally placed the last one on the belt; Dib dropped the divider between their groceries.

“So you’re saying..” Zim held his hand to his chin in thought. “..we should spend time together?”

“Yeah, that’d be a good start. How about tonight? Your house?” An excuse to get up close and personal with Zim’s intriguing alien technology. Zim hummed, running through his schedule in his head. Besides cleaning the mess of experiments from the previous day and no doubt the mess GIR had created while Zim was at the store, it was clear; he didn’t have anything else to do.

“..Okay.”

Zim’s smile mirrored his new friend’s.

_ Pop_. The cashier loudly smacked her gum, glaring at Zim from under the brim of her hat. “That’ll be a hundred and seven dollars and sixty-four cents.”

“Oh yes, Dib-worm, since you have the immense honor of being ‘friends’ with Zim, you should pay for this.”

Dib sighed, taking out his wallet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im adding this note the day after i posted this chapter but.  
wow LOL i didnt expect to get this much attention!!!! its wack. i love it  
thank u all for nice comments <3 i dont reply to all of them bc im shy but. i read and appreciate them all. xoxo
> 
> also ETA 9.02.19: if u see this.. im workin on the next chapter but it might take a bit..! idk how long ill make it but ive just been real busy w/ school and friends. but it WILL come out! i aint abandoning my boys xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol WOW i was really not expecting this fic to get this much attention. Uhh. THANK U. im freakin it

_ Tap tap tap. _ Pause. _ Tap tap tap. _ Pause. _ Tap— _

“Would you quit it?” Gaz snapped, slamming her pencil down and glaring at her brother. He had been anxiously pacing around the living room for the last ten minutes. 

“I can’t!” _ Tap tap. _ “I’m nervous.”

“Why, is it like a _ date?_”

Dib nearly choked. He pulled at the collar of his shirt. “No! We’re just hanging out, jeez!”

“So then what are you worried about?”

“I don’t know, just..” _ Tap tap tap. _ He picked at his cuticles. “It can go wrong in _ so _ many ways.”

_ Scritch scritch scritch. _ Gaz scribbled in her sketchbook. “Yeah, it _ can.. _”

Dib huffed. “Thanks for the help.”

“..but that doesn’t mean it _ will. _ Get over it, man. Just go over there.”

“I—” A sigh. “I guess you’re right, Gaz. I’ll see you whenever, if Zim doesn’t kill me.”

She simply nodded at her brother as he headed out.

_ Knock knock_.

Dib shuffled his feet against the rough concrete of Zim’s porch, waiting for the alien to answer the door. 

The door swung open, the roboparents ominously towering over him. Their glowing eyes focused on him expectantly.

“Uhh, hi?” He cleared his throat. “Is Zim he—”

“Son!” the dad suddenly called, upper body twisting around to face the interior of the house. “Your friend’s here!”

They were suddenly shoved aside, Zim taking their place in the doorway. He threw his arms out in greeting. “Ah, Dib-smelly! I’ve been expecting you! Oh yeah, come in, I guess.”

And so he did. He shrugged off his coat as he shut the door behind him. He took a look around; Zim had cleaned up since the human was last over. GIR already seemed to be making another mess in the kitchen, though; he was sitting on the table atop a large portion of dough, tomato sauce slathered all over him. There was pepperoni scattered on the floor.

“I’m making pizza!” he screamed.

“He is!” Zim proudly confirmed. “So.. how exactly do you want to spend this time together, Dib?”

Dib shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe we can watch a movie or something?”

The alien scoffed. “Your silly Earth movies are so boring! Surely you don’t seriously expect me to watch one?”

“How would you know they’re boring? What movies have you even watched?”

“_The Lion King_,” Zim rebutted matter-of-factly. “What a stupid, nonsense film! Lions can’t talk, and they definitely can’t sing, either!”

Dib groaned. This guy was impossible. 

“What about _ The Fly?_”

“What about it, Dib-worm?”

“So you haven’t seen it?” Dib snatched up the remote. “I know what we’re watching.”

Zim grumbled to himself, hopping up onto the couch with arms crossed. “GIR!”

“Yes?”

“Make popped corn!”

“Okay!”

As Dib attempted to figure out Zim’s TV, he jumped at the _ clang _ of GIR slamming into the floor in the other room. He looked over his shoulder at the alien. “Is he okay?”

“Hm?” Zim looked up from playing with his gloves. He lazily glanced into the kitchen, where GIR was lying facedown on the tile. “Oh, yeah. He’s fine.”

_ Tap tap click. _ Dib’s attempts were futile. After a while, watching him unsuccessfully mess with the buttons got old. Zim sighed, holding his hand out.

“Gimme.”

Dib begrudgingly placed the remote in the other’s hand.

He turned the TV on with ease. “What is the name of this stupid movie?”

“_The Fly._”

“COMPUTER!” Zim shouted, louder than necessary. “Play this.. _ The Fly!_”

The computer beeped. “Whatever.”

Dib settled on the couch next to Zim just as GIR waddled into the room with a large bowl of popcorn. Dib took the bowl and helped the robot onto the couch; Zim reached over and took a large handful.

_ Munch munch. _“What is this movie about?”

“You’ll see.” _ Munch munch munch_. “My dad didn’t want me to watch this because it’s rated R, but this is my fourth time seeing it.”

“What does rated R mean?”

“It has like.. adult stuff. And it’s scary.”

“Scary?” Zim laughed. “Maybe to you, Dib-worm, but Zim will not be scared by this silly fly movie!”

Dib had to laugh as well. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

At some point during the milder first thirty minutes of the movie (ignoring the baboon scene..), Dib leaned against Zim’s shoulder. The alien stiffened.

“What are you doing?”

Dib straightened up. “Oh, uh.. I don’t know. I just do it with Gaz; you don’t have to if you don’t want.”

“Of course I don’t, stink-brain!” Zim hissed indignantly, scooting away from him.

But less than ten minutes later, he found himself returning the gesture and leaning against the human’s shoulder.

“This is not comfortable,” he grumbled, digging through the popcorn bowl.

“Then don’t do it?”

“No!”

“A-Alright.” Dib handed the bowl to GIR. “You wanna lay in my lap? It’s more comfortable.”

Zim nearly recoiled. “Disgusting,” he growled, lowering his head onto the other’s lap anyway. Dib dangled a piece of popcorn in front of him; Zim quickly snatched it up and ate it.

During a particularly tense scene, Zim’s claws dug into Dib’s thigh; he flinched, batting the gloved hand away.

“That hurt, man!”

“Cry about it!”

"Do you ever apologize?" Dib muttered, rubbing the sore spot on his skin.

"Zim _ never _ needs to apologize! I have never done anything wrong. Ever."

"What about the time—"

"Silence!"

And so silence ensued. Just to get Zim to stop talking over the movie.

After a while, Zim still hadn't moved; quite the opposite actually, he snuggled into the other's lap and seemed to actually let himself relax.

"So," Dib whispered, "you like this?"

"Hm? Yes, it is quite better than _ The Lion King_, but—"

A sigh. "Not the movie, idiot. Cuddling."

"What?"

For a highly advanced alien soldier, Zim could be so stupid sometimes.

Dib gestured to the both of them. “This. What we’re doing.”

“Oh,” Zim said, as if he knew what the human was talking about all along. “Yes, I suppose your strange human gesture isn’t so bad.”

That was the closest he would get to admitting it. Dib cracked a smile.

“Y’know, if we’re friends, we could do this more ofte—”

“_EW!_”

At first, Dib thought the alien’s exclamation of disgust had been at what he’d said, but he realized they had just got to the bar scene. Y’know, where the protagonist breaks this guy’s wrist in half.

He couldn’t help but laugh while Zim continued to look on in horror.

“You think this is _ funny?!_” Zim screamed, grabbing onto him for dear life. “His BONES came out! YOUR BONES ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY INSIDE YOUR BODY! WHY ARE YOU HUMANS SO FRAGILE?!”

His laugh escalated to a cackle, and GIR joined in as well (though he had no idea what he was laughing at). Zim kept hissing _ not funny! _ under their shrieks.

“Your reaction was funny,” Dib wheezed, reaching under his glasses wiping the tears from his eyes. “Oh, man. Wait until you see the rest of the movie.”

Zim sat up, crossing his arms. “I do not wish to watch this ‘fly’ anymore.”

“Wait, no! It’s good, I promise! Plea—”

“ALRIGHT! Cease your pitiful begging!” Zim plopped back down on Dib’s lap, nearly knocking the wind out from the kid.

He nearly screamed when the protagonist ripped his nails out, and _ definitely _ screamed at his next appearance, where he had rapidly deteriorated. He was not gonna be ready for the final transformation.

“You’re not gonna be ready for the final transformation,” Dib vocalized.

“Nonsense!” Zim scoffed, yet his voice was shaky. “Zim can handle anything!”

Zim was not ready for the final transformation.

He screamed his green head off the entire time, much to Dib’s mix of annoyance and amusement. As the protagonist’s face fell away, the screams only escalated, and GIR joined in as well. The screams reached an entirely new octave as the Brundlefly exited the telepod.

It continued all the way to the credits.

Zim abruptly stopped, sitting up and dusting off his clothes. “Well, that was horrifying. Goodnight, Dib-head!”

“Wh—” Dib coughed as Zim started heading out of the room. “You’re just leaving?”

Zim turned on his heels, stopping and staring at him as if that was the dumbest question in the world. “Yes. You can go home now.”

Dib didn’t expect much else from their first hangout, but he was still a bit disappointed.

“Oh.” He slid off the couch, grabbing his coat. “So you don’t wanna have a sleepover or anything?”

“I think I’ve had enough human friend antics for the day. Possibly forever.”

Dib grinned; he knew Zim didn’t mean the second part. His heart thudded in his chest; he swallowed, trying to bring some moisture to his inexplicably dry mouth. He began walking towards Zim, seeing as the alien wouldn’t be coming near him anytime soon. “So.. do you wanna do this again sometime?”

Zim picked at his gloves, looking around the room for an answer. “Weeellll… I _ suppose _ I could.. _ perhaps _ make more time for the Dib.”

Dib beamed, holding his slightly sweaty, ‘ugly meat hand’ out. “Friends?”

Zim didn’t really know what to do with it. He glared blankly at the invitation before slowly pushing Dib’s hand away. “Uhh.. yeah, sure. _ Friends_.” He said it as if it were a foreign word he didn’t know the meaning of, trying to taste it on his tongue and feel the way it rolled off.

“So.. are you gonna see me out or what? Friends usually do that instead of walking away.”

Zim groaned, shoving past him and begrudgingly opening the door. “You humans are so needy. Go on, out you go. Happy now?”

Dib proudly marched out the doorway. “Very.”

Halfway down the sidewalk leading out of Zim’s house, Dib turned and waved. “Don’t destroy the planet while I’m asleep!”

Zim gleefully waved back. “No promises!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading yall ^_^ tune in for more iz stuff in the future cuz i love these lads
> 
> also.. IF u just so happen to make art for this fic.. teehee..... Show me!!!! my tumblr is clownhonk and my instagram is kasuyoko :o) i would luv to see it!!


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